A Mark on My Soul by Jordon Greene

Author:Jordon Greene [Greene, Jordon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Franklin/Kerr Press
Published: 2019-04-15T16:00:00+00:00

* * *

By the time Camila pulls away from the drive-thru, I’m still brushing away tears. I’m not bawling anymore, but I can’t seem to stop crying.

We didn’t stay at Editions. Cam didn’t understand why at the time, but there’s no way I was going in there and facing Sandra, especially like this.

She’d see right through me and I’d probably fuck something else up. I think I’ve done that enough, plus I don’t really want to go in anywhere right now. Thankfully, Cam didn’t push for answers at first. She didn’t even protest when I said we should just go to her place the rest of the night instead of the go-kart track.

As she drove, I finally told her what happened. How I messed up. How it was eating at me all week. How I thought I could make it right by coming clean. She didn’t say much at first. I think she wanted time to think it over.

“I didn’t mean to mess up, I really didn’t.” It’s probably the fifth or sixth time I’ve said it.

“I know.” She doesn’t even sound annoyed by it. “But why didn’t you tell him earlier? I don’t know if it would have helped, but why?”

“I was afraid,” I tell her. “I knew I should have. I just couldn’t. I was too scared of how he’d react. And I guess I was right.”

“I get it, but Park deserved to know,” she tells me. She’s looking at me instead of the road more than she probably should. “It isn’t just you anymore. It’s you and him. And this was definitely something he should have known about. Yeah, it probably wouldn’t have made it any easier. You know that. This shit isn’t easy, and it might even be harder for Park.”

I want to say it was just as hard for me, that I had just as much to worry about, but it’s a lie. I nod. She’s right. He has so much more to lose.

“That’s why I told him. I couldn’t keep it a secret, I felt horrible about it,” I explain.

Cam grins at me. Her eyes are warm and there’s a kindness in them beyond her usual awesomeness.

“That’s sweet, Noah,” she tells me as we pull down her street. “Other than the whole gay thing, you’ve always been a pretty open book. Lying really isn’t your thing, at least I don’t think it is, and that’s a plus, really. I think Park knows that. It sucks right now, but I think he’ll understand in time.”

“How long?” I ask. “We haven’t even been dating for a full two weeks and we’re already fighting. We never fought before this. And it’s more than just while we've been dating. We never fought when we were just friends either.”

“Couples always fight. Jaylen and I fought too,” she tells me.

“You and Jaylen broke up.” I cock my head sideways, and I’m about to start crying again, but I dam up the tears.

“Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best example, but every couple fights.

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